The Christian I saw, as the person my ancient friends acted like, is nothing like many of the people I see today that call themselves “Christian.” They are destructive, hateful, and a menace to themselves, their family and anyone who does not agree with their self righteousness.
Claiming that you won’t, or don’t need to change, says more about what you aren’t bringing to the table than how much you will help the process.
Arguing with people on-line, those whom you know are looking to stir the mud, is no different than trying to play chess with a pidgeon. They will dance around the board, knock over the pieces and crap on the board, not caring about how to play but feeling that, regardless, they have won.
I am finally giving myself over to the thought that today’s modern “Christian” knows absolutely nothing about being Christlike in any degree. None what so ever.
Where have they gone?
The ones who love everyone.
The Christians who reach out and help.
The ones who turn the other cheek.
Where have they gone?
If there is an issue with you and another person who is important to you and it appears that it will never get better, move on.
If it appears that they will never know what they mean to you or that they just don’t care or want to bother with it, dump it and get busy putting your energy into something more constructive and beneficial for all.
Don’t waste away in denial like I have been doing for 40 years.
There is something better you could be putting your energy into.
If do not dump it and move on, you are carrying a sign that says, “Sure, you can damage me and I won’t stop you.”
It isn’t easy to let go, certainly if you care about that person, but nurturing them in order to allow them to damage you just isn’t what healthy relationships are made of.
When I was a kid, I wanted to know, “Where did I come from? Where did all of this stuff come from?” Science and astronomy immediately revealed that they would be where I would most likely find an answer to this question. They did provide an answer, eventually.
In dedication to my long time friend.
May he find happiness in the fields of dog heaven.
There are moments in our lives when we know that there is someone in our lives with whom we could be so much closer to, in heart, in spirit, in love, but more than anything, in life, but we are limited by their choice to be distant. There are times when we just want to tell them, “This is not about who is right or wrong, it’s about dropping your wall and not only letting someone in, but also about you reaching out.” All of it. Of course, we all need space, but there are times when we can not bear to be alone.
Just letting go of family members because they refuse to give me answers seems quite counter productive. I know that we all have ‘skeletons in our closets,’ and with what I am doing with my attempt to get answers to my questions, undoubtedly, I am rattling those ‘skeletons,’
Over the years, I have learned something many do not understand.
If you are sitting somewhere with someone who is a friend of any measure and you hear them say “I really need to rid my life of the selfish people I continually support,” and your first thought is, or even worse, you actually ask, “Am I one of those people?” Yes, you are one of those people. You are a selfish person. There is no way around it. You instantly thought of yourself before asking if there was a way you could help. I know a lot of people in the former state.
If you ever become a dad, or are now, love your children, ask them questions, give them answers, make them smile whether you feel happy or not. Above all know that if you ever made a mistake when you were a kid, you ARE going to see them make that same mistake.
Don’t let fear be the force that holds you back from the goals you cherish.
Many times I have heard, “Why do I need a piece of paper to show that I’m married?” I’m sorry, but that just sounds pathetically selfish. Being married means you consider your mate more important than yourself. If you don’t, then marriage is not for you and will be a complete failure for you if you enter into it. You must consider your spouse as important as you consider yourself. In my opinion, more important. I do mine.
Over the years of coming up, growing up, determining what I wanted to do in life, I have looked around and tried to be somewhat like the best part of people whom I see. You know, that part of people whom help others in some way, that part that makes you think, “I wish I were like that.” The truth is that I love to help others. Today that isn’t as acceptable as it used to be. Now people won’t accept help unless they are offered a price to pay or the government gives it to them somehow. Help from an average person without cost or ‘strings’ attached? No thanks. They tell you to stay out of their business.
Listen to me. If you have issues with your family that you can’t seem to resolve, let them go. They are in the past. If you can’t make peace, then you may have held on to the battlements for too long and there in no way back over them to your camp. You are stuck where you don’t want to be and the only resolution will be when someone passes on. That is no way to see a resolution. That is a game that was lost by both parties. Don’t let that happen. Smile and wave, move on, but don’t walk away.
Do you ever ‘hate’ something? “I hate it when that happens?” Does that denote ‘unconditional love?’ I don’t think so. Of course, anyone could say ‘Lighten Up.’ Absolutely, ‘lighten up.’
But the question still remains, “Do you express unconditional love?”
I’m one of those people current gun owners are afraid of and consider an obstacle to the process. I can live with that. Honestly, I can. I sleep well not being pre-occupied with the second amendment and it’s implications.
When we lose a friend or a loved one, family or not, we most often dedicate a bit of our life to making sure we never forget that person, or in some cases, that thing. This is commendable, although, not always an honorable thing to do. At least I feel that way.
This is my final entry concerning family issues. This is the end of my whining, it is also the last of my baggage. It has taken a full year and 12 days to sort this out. There’s just no more. Man, I am so thankful. I will relate that I know I have become a better person through writing these accounts without fear of retribution from anyone. If there is anyone who has a beef with me over these accounts, or otherwise, grow a pair and approach me. I am more willing to listen than you probably are to talk.
Do you hope to be beneficial to someone? Do you intend to be the best you can be? Do you want to be a better spouse, parent, aunt, uncle, any family member?
This is one of those “Seriously?” subjects. “Internet Romance? Do those really lead to successful marriages?” Even though this is a somewhat leading question, it really is valid.
Don’t accept what others have set up for you, or follow what you “feel is right,” without questioning everything. If people you look up to are failures in some part of their lives, following their lead will give you the results they accepted. Do better. Think for yourself. Realize what is right and leave the failing recipe behind. Do not allow destructive people or patterns to be a part of your life, regardless of your feelings. Ever.
If your child is being bullied and you think your child is just weak, you are bullying by not acting. If you are complacent to a victim of bullying, you are a bully.
Think about what you intend to say, while you have the opportunity. Once those words leave your mouth, the vote is cast.
A lot of things have happened through my life that will never see the surface of a piece of paper, things that certainly will never fall on another person’s ear. Things that are in no way constructive to anyone in any way. I will never reveal those events. Things that I will carry to the grave. Many things that were painful to endure and many that just do not need to be told. Some of the people who were involved in those activities no longer walk this earth, some do. Those whom still walk this earth will never witness an attempt by me to connect with them. They have left their mark and need to fade into the darkness.