When I was an explorer, new on the planet earth, I wanted to know everything. I was like a cat with a shiny bead.
I couldn’t stay out of things.
I took everything apart, even before I knew what a screwdriver was.
I never had an exit or follow up plan.
Most things, usually my toys, were taken apart, then lived in pieces under my bed, never to live in sunlight again.
My tool kit was comprised of anything I could remove a screw with.
Steak knife with a cloth to protect my fingers.
Yeah, not elaborate at all.
I always wanted to see the parts that made a thing work.
Preferably as they were inside of the thing, but I was aware that was not possible.
So, take it apart.
Here’s the back story.
My father used to take me to bars and get the owner to let me in, never drinking alcohol. But we would sit with his friends, The Blue Line was one of these places in Seattle, no longer standing at 2nd Ave. and Denny Way, and as we were sitting, laughing and joking, I was the butt of his jokes. Hurtful jokes. He would make fun of me, my clothes, my haircut, bring up any music I liked, just a terrible experience, but he would do this again and again and I never stood up for myself. He stomped on anything that represented me in any way. I just couldn’t be mean back to him.
I know that my father was extremely racist. A trait that is taught, handed down to offspring. “N****r” easily slipped from his lips regardless of the present company. He was a very hateful atheist. It showed normally in any discussion that slightly hinted on religion or spirituality.
Listen, if you have children, be a part of their lives. Be in the middle of their lives. Even if it irritates them, be in their lives. In the end, they won’t have memories like I do, and they won’t wish that they had more memories like I wish I had. Be a part of your children’s lives. BE THERE!
Don’t let fear be the force that holds you back from the goals you cherish.
My interest in music has always been a bit weird. I’m not fond of noisy music, but extremely fusion oriented music catches my attention. Emerson, Lake and Palmer, John McLaughlin, two artists that immediately come to my mind. Weird stuff like Aorta, King Crimson, Vanilla Fudge also were in the mix. I have never been fond of ‘girlfriend’ songs. I just don’t see a reason to whine about a failed relationship in a tune one writes. Maybe years down the road after you’ve become “The Next Big Thing,” but in the beginning, it seems to me, addressing issues that many identify with aside from their personal and private life and activities is the wise move.
This is my final entry concerning family issues. This is the end of my whining, it is also the last of my baggage. It has taken a full year and 12 days to sort this out. There’s just no more. Man, I am so thankful. I will relate that I know I have become a better person through writing these accounts without fear of retribution from anyone. If there is anyone who has a beef with me over these accounts, or otherwise, grow a pair and approach me. I am more willing to listen than you probably are to talk.
When I was just a boy, I pretty much lived alone, in and with a family of two brothers and my mother. I was a smart kid, but on my own level, in my own world, on my own planet. My family and their adult friends always used to say, “He’s such a smart boy.” I…
I think I was barely four years old when I discovered a machine. I could put thin black discs that had a hole in the center on a platform that spun. You could touch it and interrupt its function. There was a black arm, with a small sharp pin at the end, that could reach the black disc. There was a switch that you could push which started everything moving. Move the black arm to the black disc and set it down. A wondrous and beautiful sound came from this thing.
First of all, this story is not intended to denigrate or berate anyone, least of all, any of my family members. It is also not intended to elicit any sympathy for what I have been through. It is a way for me to, figuratively, put on paper an intention to understand the mechanisms in my…