Growing up, I came from no functional, cohesive family plan, unit or ‘group.’ My mother and father divorced when I was just eight years old. Life got rough. The kids in school knowing I had no big brother, found that they could bully me without threat of retribution from anyone on my side of the equation. Knowing I had no stable, functional environment at home, insulting me was an accurate and easily defined and executed sport. They loved it. How did they know these things about my home life? The bully’s parents were my parents’ contemporaries. Word travels fast when it is wrapped in the sordid details about something they would never be caught dead doing or thought was truth but was not. Their parents had no issue with sharing such info with them while sitting around the dinner table or while Cassius Clay was pounding on Sonny Liston in black and white in the center of the living room.
Poor me. Enough.
I write to share the experiences and results, as well as the efforts and conquests of the effects of those times, to help me get over the lasting results of many of those incidences and to somehow help others, my readers, realize that if they have experienced the same, or similar conditions, they can overcome the results and know that they are not alone in their struggles in life. To inspire a discussion about those times so that we can arrive at a final bridge where freedom from the results of those experiences is just a few steps away and not impossible to achieve.
I write because I want to tell my story, but more than anything, because I want to help others.
I want to let others know they are not the only ones with these problems. You are not alone.
I do not intend to insult, berate or denigrate anyone with these stories, however, if you feel guilt after reading what I have related and written, you may need to seek those to whom you have caused pain and apologize for what you have done. I am not the one causing you to feel guilt, you are , as well as your lack of compassion for those you have hurt and dismissed.
I only intend to write about what I saw and felt and to eventually get past it.
I certainly hope to stir a desire in others to address the issues they may have in their own lives which are, or may be, similar.
To entice them to resolve those issues and move on to a fruitful place in their lives is a goal of this blog page.
If what you read on these pages causes you to think new, healing thoughts, I am doing what I hoped to do.
Thank you for stopping to read and hear my story. Read what I write. Identify or don’t, but absorb.
I write because there is so much I want to leave here.
There won’t be much room in my coffin for it all.
Thank you for looking,