The Christian I saw, as the person my ancient friends acted like, is nothing like many of the people I see today that call themselves “Christian.” They are destructive, hateful, and a menace to themselves, their family and anyone who does not agree with their self righteousness.
Claiming that you won’t, or don’t need to change, says more about what you aren’t bringing to the table than how much you will help the process.
Arguing with people on-line, those whom you know are looking to stir the mud, is no different than trying to play chess with a pidgeon. They will dance around the board, knock over the pieces and crap on the board, not caring about how to play but feeling that, regardless, they have won.
Where have they gone?
The ones who love everyone.
The Christians who reach out and help.
The ones who turn the other cheek.
Where have they gone?
When I was an explorer, new on the planet earth, I wanted to know everything. I was like a cat with a shiny bead.
I couldn’t stay out of things.
I took everything apart, even before I knew what a screwdriver was.
I never had an exit or follow up plan.
Most things, usually my toys, were taken apart, then lived in pieces under my bed, never to live in sunlight again.
My tool kit was comprised of anything I could remove a screw with.
Steak knife with a cloth to protect my fingers.
Yeah, not elaborate at all.
I always wanted to see the parts that made a thing work.
Preferably as they were inside of the thing, but I was aware that was not possible.
So, take it apart.
Here’s the back story.
My father used to take me to bars and get the owner to let me in, never drinking alcohol. But we would sit with his friends, The Blue Line was one of these places in Seattle, no longer standing at 2nd Ave. and Denny Way, and as we were sitting, laughing and joking, I was the butt of his jokes. Hurtful jokes. He would make fun of me, my clothes, my haircut, bring up any music I liked, just a terrible experience, but he would do this again and again and I never stood up for myself. He stomped on anything that represented me in any way. I just couldn’t be mean back to him.
I know that my father was extremely racist. A trait that is taught, handed down to offspring. “N****r” easily slipped from his lips regardless of the present company. He was a very hateful atheist. It showed normally in any discussion that slightly hinted on religion or spirituality.
Listen, if you have children, be a part of their lives. Be in the middle of their lives. Even if it irritates them, be in their lives. In the end, they won’t have memories like I do, and they won’t wish that they had more memories like I wish I had. Be a part of your children’s lives. BE THERE!
When I was a young boy, ten years old or so, my father once said to me,
“I don’t make the rules.
You make the rules.
I just enforce them when you make them.
You can’t police yourself.”
If there is an issue with you and another person who is important to you and it appears that it will never get better, move on.
If it appears that they will never know what they mean to you or that they just don’t care or want to bother with it, dump it and get busy putting your energy into something more constructive and beneficial for all.
Don’t waste away in denial like I have been doing for 40 years.
There is something better you could be putting your energy into.
If do not dump it and move on, you are carrying a sign that says, “Sure, you can damage me and I won’t stop you.”
It isn’t easy to let go, certainly if you care about that person, but nurturing them in order to allow them to damage you just isn’t what healthy relationships are made of.
When I was a kid, I wanted to know, “Where did I come from? Where did all of this stuff come from?” Science and astronomy immediately revealed that they would be where I would most likely find an answer to this question. They did provide an answer, eventually.
When you look around at other people, whether it be on the internet, at the train station, in your home with friends, at the grocery store, at the gun shop, the voting place, actually anywhere one or more people congregate, there are people wearing glasses. Even if they are not physical glasses or contact lenses, people look through a tint they prefer. For everyone, whether they know it or agree, that tinted lens is the way they interpret other people’s ideas and attitudes. The philosophical, spiritual, sociological, democratic, republican, liberal, conservative, depressed, enlightened, non-thinking, arrogant, accepting lens they prefer to see everything through, every minute of every day they breathe air. Every minute, every second.
There are moments in our lives when we know that there is someone in our lives with whom we could be so much closer to, in heart, in spirit, in love, but more than anything, in life, but we are limited by their choice to be distant. There are times when we just want to tell them, “This is not about who is right or wrong, it’s about dropping your wall and not only letting someone in, but also about you reaching out.” All of it. Of course, we all need space, but there are times when we can not bear to be alone.
Losing your cell phone.
That will stop our lovely planet from spinning. It may even interrupt our orbit of the sun, causing this planet we live on to fall into the sun. Bring some 12,000 SPF lotion.
Yeah, that’s one thing that could do it.
What you do in private, eventually effects others publicly. It may happen in ten minutes because you wanted it to, or it may take 50 years because you have hidden it. It may go to the grave with you, but it will affect others, now or later. It is inevitable. What you do now will affect others later. Say it to yourself. “What I do now will affect others later.”
Baggage is a part of life. Emotional, political, marital, familial, all forms. That which you store in a closet is not always physical. As a matter of fact the baggage you can’t see, that is being stored, stacks up and becomes stagnant much more readily than what you just got home from Wisconsin with. Much more readily and will, most likely, be a much bigger pile and need a huge closet.
Just letting go of family members because they refuse to give me answers seems quite counter productive. I know that we all have ‘skeletons in our closets,’ and with what I am doing with my attempt to get answers to my questions, undoubtedly, I am rattling those ‘skeletons,’
When homelessness looked at me and said, “I hope you’re ready for this, because there is no other resolution to what is about to happen,” I hated it, but it was a decision I had to make.
Well, in Part 1, I covered recreation. Seriously? Recreation? There is very little recreation. You are actually working at being homeless 24/7. Again, it isn’t easy. You wait in lines, you walk, you ride the bus, you eat lots of cold cut sandwiches, you wait in line, you ride the bus, I’m sorry, I’m getting repetitive.
The only good that can come from negativity is that it can inspire people to produce writings, art, emotions that expose it’s non ability to do any good for any reason other than to inspire change for good. If you use negativity to create good or knowledge from, you have defeated it. Using negativity to destroy negativity is the only good thing that can come from it. Don’t allow it to breed.
Over the years, I have learned something many do not understand.
If you are sitting somewhere with someone who is a friend of any measure and you hear them say “I really need to rid my life of the selfish people I continually support,” and your first thought is, or even worse, you actually ask, “Am I one of those people?” Yes, you are one of those people. You are a selfish person. There is no way around it. You instantly thought of yourself before asking if there was a way you could help. I know a lot of people in the former state.
If you ever become a dad, or are now, love your children, ask them questions, give them answers, make them smile whether you feel happy or not. Above all know that if you ever made a mistake when you were a kid, you ARE going to see them make that same mistake.
Don’t let fear be the force that holds you back from the goals you cherish.
“The only real change seems to come from those who choose to disprove that real change can’t happen.”
Over the years of coming up, growing up, determining what I wanted to do in life, I have looked around and tried to be somewhat like the best part of people whom I see. You know, that part of people whom help others in some way, that part that makes you think, “I wish I were like that.” The truth is that I love to help others. Today that isn’t as acceptable as it used to be. Now people won’t accept help unless they are offered a price to pay or the government gives it to them somehow. Help from an average person without cost or ‘strings’ attached? No thanks. They tell you to stay out of their business.
Listen to me. If you have issues with your family that you can’t seem to resolve, let them go. They are in the past. If you can’t make peace, then you may have held on to the battlements for too long and there in no way back over them to your camp. You are stuck where you don’t want to be and the only resolution will be when someone passes on. That is no way to see a resolution. That is a game that was lost by both parties. Don’t let that happen. Smile and wave, move on, but don’t walk away.
If you have a friend, and you consider that friend a good enough friend that you follow what they do and hope to do things with them, don’t pressure them. If they are your friend, you don’t need to question that friendship. You just need to be a friend. If you are my friend, do what you like to do. Don’t worry about what I think of what you do. Hell, I’m your friend.
Forgiving is a state of mind, apology is a conversation.
Which do you think is more powerful?
According to the people who has answered me on this, apologies seem to make you look weak or take your ‘power’ away. I disagree. I think it makes one look very strong. Very trustworthy.
“How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?” Regardless of how much I want to get a resolution to this, I have to refuse to go further with this cause. Some questions don’t get answered, some questions don’t need to be answered. Some questions never are heard. Either way, it is no longer important to me.
When we lose a friend or a loved one, family or not, we most often dedicate a bit of our life to making sure we never forget that person, or in some cases, that thing. This is commendable, although, not always an honorable thing to do. At least I feel that way.
This is my final entry concerning family issues. This is the end of my whining, it is also the last of my baggage. It has taken a full year and 12 days to sort this out. There’s just no more. Man, I am so thankful. I will relate that I know I have become a better person through writing these accounts without fear of retribution from anyone. If there is anyone who has a beef with me over these accounts, or otherwise, grow a pair and approach me. I am more willing to listen than you probably are to talk.
Do you hope to be beneficial to someone? Do you intend to be the best you can be? Do you want to be a better spouse, parent, aunt, uncle, any family member?
Don’t accept what others have set up for you, or follow what you “feel is right,” without questioning everything. If people you look up to are failures in some part of their lives, following their lead will give you the results they accepted. Do better. Think for yourself. Realize what is right and leave the failing recipe behind. Do not allow destructive people or patterns to be a part of your life, regardless of your feelings. Ever.
If your child is being bullied and you think your child is just weak, you are bullying by not acting. If you are complacent to a victim of bullying, you are a bully.
I think I was barely four years old when I discovered a machine. I could put thin black discs that had a hole in the center on a platform that spun. You could touch it and interrupt its function. There was a black arm, with a small sharp pin at the end, that could reach the black disc. There was a switch that you could push which started everything moving. Move the black arm to the black disc and set it down. A wondrous and beautiful sound came from this thing.
Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 This account of my life is in no way intended to insult, berate or denigrate anyone at all. It is an attempt by me to tell a story, to possibly resolve issues in my own life and lend a bit of inspiration to others who may have similar issues…
Part 1 Part 3 Part 4 This account of my life is in no way intended to insult, berate or denigrate anyone at all. It is an attempt by me to tell a story, to possibly resolve issues in my own life and lend a bit of inspiration to others who may have similar issues…
Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 This account of my life is in no way intended to insult, berate or denigrate anyone at all. It is an attempt by me to tell a story, to possibly resolve issues in my own life and lend a bit of inspiration to others who may have similar issues…
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 This account of my life is in no way intended to insult, berate or denigrate anyone at all. It is an attempt by me to tell a story, to possibly resolve issues in my own life and lend a bit of inspiration to others who may have similar issues…
Think about what you intend to say, while you have the opportunity. Once those words leave your mouth, the vote is cast.
A lot of things have happened through my life that will never see the surface of a piece of paper, things that certainly will never fall on another person’s ear. Things that are in no way constructive to anyone in any way. I will never reveal those events. Things that I will carry to the grave. Many things that were painful to endure and many that just do not need to be told. Some of the people who were involved in those activities no longer walk this earth, some do. Those whom still walk this earth will never witness an attempt by me to connect with them. They have left their mark and need to fade into the darkness.